My blog has definitely been feeling rejected lately. Not only am I working hard and trying to get exercise and clear out some of the stress that office dwelling takes on me, I am sick again. Maybe my cold that I had a couple of weeks ago never had a chance to completely heal and it was secretly getting worse because of stress.
My Mom stayed with us over the weekend and it ended badly. She is riddled with illnesses and frankly that makes me ill. Today she's at the doctor about vomit, yesterday it was the ECT and then again tomorrow. The thing is that's how she's been my whole life since I can remember. I am trying my best to lead the healthiest life (with few exceptions,) have fun and be a fun wife, mother and daughter and be good at my job. There is only so much a person can take on before the chemical reactions of swallowing the stress anger and rage explodes and brings about more sickness. I think that's what my problem is. I am trying to push through it though. I have vowed to read my new books, run/walk/jog as much as possible and play with my daughter the way I want to, all in an attempt to recapture my prebaby pace and stresslessness. She is not my stress. So why can't I recapture the lightness that I once felt?
Lately the baby2 chatter has heightened in my house. There is some serious insurance shopping going on and we are down to the wire. We are planning on being preg by end of September. Does stress keep one from becoming preg? I get very excited to think about being preg again. I can't wait. Have I lost my mind? I think the reason for this is that when I was pregnant, I felt more healthy than ever and I miss that. I felt like I had a reason to take extra special care of myself and lie down when I was tired, take my vitamins every day, ask the doctor about every little thing; but now I feel like I have to sweep me under the rug and deal with "it."
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