There are some things that you cannot say to people when you are a parent. You may only expose your deepest feeling to those you trust most and know you the best. The fears, weaknesses and insecurities of parenthood are common but rarely talked about. I would be lying if I said I am not stunned that my day-to-day job is to simply be the best mother I can be. I am apprehensive and the reality has still not yet set in.
In the past week there's been blood, bruises and tears- most of which were mine.
I cried like a baby before my last day of work. They were tears of joy, as well as, tears of sadness that I was leaving the job where I was able to see my parents every day.
Tuesday, Bella bled because of a stupid decision I made to put a paver on her playground.
Yesterday, I fell off a step and bruised my knees while trying to throw the cat out after he clawed at the groceries I brought inside the house.
Tori has eaten everything in sight. She teething so much that she chews on furniture. I've had to fish leaves and paper out of her mouth several times.
So far, I'm not so confident at my new day job. I'm a little... well... sore.
Bella consoled me last week while crying before my last day. She said, "It's going to be okay. They'll miss you too."
Bella was also concerned about me when I hit the floor with both my knees and hurt so bad that I couldn't speak. She said, "I hope you feel better soon, Mommy. I love you."
Precious girls.
I hope I can handle this.
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