Bathing in her light

My grandmother is visiting. Normally she stays with my mom and I only get to spend a few hours with her, but this time I have the pleasure of having her stay with me. Last night we talked about all the normal things we discuss; Bella, my pregnancy, the addition to the house and my mother's inadvertent way of ticking us off.
My grandmother has put up with my mother's illness a lot longer than I have. She blames herself. She thinks that somehow she is responsible and feels shame for her daughter. And it's just not so. She has other adult children who are totally different.
To give a mini-background, my mother can manipulate a cat. She has no way of making good decisions for herself and that bothers us. My mother is engaged for the 6th time! We are looking like a-holes because we are not excited, not even happy for her. Why get married AGAIN? My grandmother is angry with her feelings toward her own daughter and she kept repeating, "She deserves to have happiness." She deserves it she just doesn't know how to maintain it.
For all the people of the world who have a family member or multiple family members with borderline personality disorder it's not just hard... it's MADDENING!
My mom is such a talented person. She can be hilarious and warm and fun. But if you get her on the wrong day, week or even month, you're in for a ride of your life.
A BPD sufferers romantic relationships are like a whirlwind. They quickly fall into infatuation, move in together and plan a wedding. Then once they are married they have a level of expectation that is impossible to meet. Insatiable. They are not inherently happy and it shows when the wind settles. And worst of all their partner won't know they have BPD unless they are told.
My grandmother has help protect me since birth. She was there to put us up when my mother left every man. She helped my mom with money needs which means she kept food in my mouth and gave a place to live. She is a treasure, my light and my confidant.
She has given me a lot of the wisdom and confidence.
She loves her BPD daughter even after the winds settles and my mom used her for all she's worth. She's shown me true stick-to-itiveness, and I am forever grateful.
I am so proud to have her and know that she looks at me and thanks Jesus that her daughter didn't screw me up.
I will always be in debt to her.