My pregnant body #4

Every day I grow a little bigger. I am so satisfied knowing that the little guy or girl is thriving inside me. I have a purpose and glow with pride. But I can't say there aren't moments when there is fear. Not about the health of the baby anymore but of what's to come. I had a mini breakdown Tuesday about our addition and the anxiety of construction. But, I feel sure it wasn't totally about that. I hate change that involves tears, angst, imagination and trust. I can't see the result until it's done and my mind gets carried away... and that translates over to adding a child to what has become familiar and comfortable. I know how hard it was with Bella and I saw that I can handle it but there will be two... and that terrifies me at this point. Bella is a wild little one with a ton of energy and I will be Bessy the milk maid and not so much of Polly the playmate. This has to be a normal thing that mothers go through. This doesn't plague me but I do think about it more and more as reality sets in.