I'm feeling the weight of the world on me today. I don't have a clue when it will pass, but I am praying for sooner than later. I am not made of stone.
People end up with serious problems when thay have to deal with some of the shit I have to deal with.
I am actually really lucky and I am trying to concentrate on that feeling today.
Lucky, lucky, lucky...
I'll keep trying.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Another year, gone
There's a commercial where a little girl walks into the family room and asks her dad if she can borrow the car. He's bewildered and says, "Why?" as if there is a good reason for a 5-year-old to drive. But then he looks at her again and she's 16. This is really going to happen to me. I still look at her and see the baby I had on 2-20-06.
My father often says he can see traits in my mannerisms and body language that I've had since I was an infant. He can go right back in time and remember me that small as if it was literally last year.
My girl Bella, my pride and joy, will be 3 tomorrow.
She has grown so unbelievably beautiful and smart doesn't even begin to describe her. She's exceptional.
Lately, Bella has her issues. She gets stressed out when we are. She understands most everything we talk about and asks WHY? all the time. It's an insatiable curiosity to find out how this big world works.
She was our world until Tori was born. Now everything revolves around them both. The adjustments have been smooth and any bumps in the road with the transition were expected. We have great literature about raising children and parents to help us unlock the communication challenges and that is a blessing.
She will know how much we love her no matter how many kids we have and that is our most important goal.
Her sense of humor is developing and it fascinates us to see what makes her laugh.
She is so perceptive. She can reason and make up games. She's obsessed with umbrellas, dance costumes and princess dresses. She loves glittery crowns and acting like a lady(...sometimes). She thinks that her My Little Pony's shoes are gold, and Barbie shoes too for that matter.
She wants to be good and have us praise her. She even praises her stuffed animals, her dolls and her little sister.
She is the apple of Tori's eye. There is no better entertainment.
All-in-all, we won the lottery 3 years ago on having a great first daughter. We knew immediately that she was special.
I only hope that we can nurture her talents, give her the confidence to be herself and be proud of it.
Happy Birthday my sweet angel. You are a gem and a joy.
Note Bella's nicknames:
Bunnygoose
Angelface
Sweet pickles
Peanut
Nocko Nocko head
Stinker Naninker
I love you (yes, as a nickname)
Rooter Tooter
Swilly
Princess
Tommy "wrote" a song for her that we sing to her 3 times every night...
Goodnight sweet Bella, my princess, my angel
Goodnight sweet Bella, goodnight.
I hope that you dream of butterflies and rainbows
Goodnight sweet Bella, goodnight.
And when you wake up in the morning I will be right here
I hope to see you smiling from ear to ear.
Goodnight sweet Bella, my princess, my angel
Goodnight sweet Bella, goodnight
It's very sweet to hear Bella sing this song simply called "Bella's song"
My father often says he can see traits in my mannerisms and body language that I've had since I was an infant. He can go right back in time and remember me that small as if it was literally last year.
My girl Bella, my pride and joy, will be 3 tomorrow.
She has grown so unbelievably beautiful and smart doesn't even begin to describe her. She's exceptional.
Lately, Bella has her issues. She gets stressed out when we are. She understands most everything we talk about and asks WHY? all the time. It's an insatiable curiosity to find out how this big world works.
She was our world until Tori was born. Now everything revolves around them both. The adjustments have been smooth and any bumps in the road with the transition were expected. We have great literature about raising children and parents to help us unlock the communication challenges and that is a blessing.
She will know how much we love her no matter how many kids we have and that is our most important goal.
Her sense of humor is developing and it fascinates us to see what makes her laugh.
She is so perceptive. She can reason and make up games. She's obsessed with umbrellas, dance costumes and princess dresses. She loves glittery crowns and acting like a lady(...sometimes). She thinks that her My Little Pony's shoes are gold, and Barbie shoes too for that matter.
She wants to be good and have us praise her. She even praises her stuffed animals, her dolls and her little sister.
She is the apple of Tori's eye. There is no better entertainment.
All-in-all, we won the lottery 3 years ago on having a great first daughter. We knew immediately that she was special.
I only hope that we can nurture her talents, give her the confidence to be herself and be proud of it.
Happy Birthday my sweet angel. You are a gem and a joy.
Note Bella's nicknames:
Bunnygoose
Angelface
Sweet pickles
Peanut
Nocko Nocko head
Stinker Naninker
I love you (yes, as a nickname)
Rooter Tooter
Swilly
Princess
Tommy "wrote" a song for her that we sing to her 3 times every night...
Goodnight sweet Bella, my princess, my angel
Goodnight sweet Bella, goodnight.
I hope that you dream of butterflies and rainbows
Goodnight sweet Bella, goodnight.
And when you wake up in the morning I will be right here
I hope to see you smiling from ear to ear.
Goodnight sweet Bella, my princess, my angel
Goodnight sweet Bella, goodnight
It's very sweet to hear Bella sing this song simply called "Bella's song"
too much
Lately, I don't feel like anything is blog-worthy. I can't seem to get certain things out of my head while trying to deal with all the day-to-day responsibilities. That is all I can muster up energy for.
I feel trampled on and spent.
My one wish for my children is that they prosper and that I never effect them the way I am effected by my mother.
My heart is broken.
I feel trampled on and spent.
My one wish for my children is that they prosper and that I never effect them the way I am effected by my mother.
My heart is broken.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Happy Valentine's Day Eve
These are the people I love the most and I am so glad that I will be able to spend time with them tomorrow. Now, I could use a night out with just my husband and I could enjoy some flowers or a few minutes to myself to go and do something for myself, but since Valentine's Day is on a Saturday, I'm just happy that we will be together.
Tommy is out of town today and will return tomorrow evening and that's a great gift. His wrestling season pretty much ends tomorrow and that too is a gift to my family and sanity.
He starts a new job that he has great potential to move up quickly and be successful and that's a gift.
I also have to say that every day people reach out to try and help me. They listen to me grip about constant pain and headaches and they try to help me with that. That is love and I hope they all know I see it and appreciate the gift.
I love you all, my girls, my husband and my family.
Tommy is out of town today and will return tomorrow evening and that's a great gift. His wrestling season pretty much ends tomorrow and that too is a gift to my family and sanity.
He starts a new job that he has great potential to move up quickly and be successful and that's a gift.
I also have to say that every day people reach out to try and help me. They listen to me grip about constant pain and headaches and they try to help me with that. That is love and I hope they all know I see it and appreciate the gift.
I love you all, my girls, my husband and my family.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Color!
I love color, I just refuse to wear it. I don't intend to look like I just walked out of a black and white TV show, but a lot of the time I do.
Just to brighten up my day and my blog, I am posting some cheerful, colorful pics.
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